So my space here has officially reached 2000 hits, on the button. Hooray for me. Way to make me feel popular, everybody!

 

I. Have another confession to make.

 

 

I listen to country music. And I enjoy it. It's quite possibly some of the most wholesome music on public radio these days.

 

If you didn't find that at least slightly humourous, then too bad. I have nothing else to offer right now. All my creative talent is being used elsewhere.

 

In other news: LCI Chamber Choir concert tommorow night, which I will be reviewing, and recording. More news later.

Sadly, this is true, the world over. Here's to our Armed Forces;underrated, understaffed, underfunded, and still, some of the best troops in the world.

 

Tommy

By Rudyard Kipling, 1892

 

 

I went into a public- 'ouse to get a pint o' beer,

The publican 'e up an sez, "We serve no red-coats here."

The girls behind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,

I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I:

O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy go away";

But it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins," when the band begins to play-

The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,

O it's "Thank you Mr Atkins," when the band begins to play.

I went into a theatre as sober as could be,

They gave a drunk civilian roo, but 'adn't none for me;

They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls,

But when it comes to fighting', Lord! They'll shove me in the stalls!

For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy wait outside";

But it's "Special train for Atkins," when the trooper's on the tide-

The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide,

O it's "Special train for Atkins," when the trooper's on the tide.

Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep

Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap;

An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit

Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.

Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy 'ow's yer soul?"

But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll-

The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,

O it's " Thin red line of 'eroes," when the drums begin to roll.

We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,

But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;

An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,

Why single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;

While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy fall be'ind,"

But it's "Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind-

There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,

O it's "Please to walk in front, sir," when there's trouble in the wind.

You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all:

We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.

Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face

The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.

For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck 'im out, the brute!"

But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot;

An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;

An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool - you bet that Tommy sees!

Note:

It was the Duke of Wellington who coined the popular nickname Thomas (or Tommy) Atkins, for the ordinary soldier. In 1843, whilst Commander-in-Chief, he was asked to come up with a 'typical' soldier's name. Thinking back to his first campaign in the Low Countries in the 1790s he remembered a badly wounded, but stoical, soldier he had encountered - Thomas Atkins.

The Widow's Uniform - after Prince Albert's death, Queen Victoria was known as the Widow at Windsor and soldiers were known as the Widow's Sons who wore the Widow's uniform.

Band: Big Wreck

 

Song: The Oaf - Big Wreck

 

Word: Epinephrine

 

Book: Allegiance - Timothy Zahn

 

Number: 4673

 

Mando'a Phrase: Ba'gedet'ye! [BAH-geh-DET-yeh] - You're welcome!

 

Quotable Quote: Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays, it insists on it. - Russell Baker

 

Chuck Norris: There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?: To die. In the rain. - Ernest Hemingway

 

Camp Memory: HOLY SCHNITZEL!!!!

 

Locale: St. Petersburg, Russia

 

Food: Nik's special chicken

 

Stupidity: Political philosophy, and teaching it to high school students

 

Person: Bill Watterson

 

Call it funny, or don't. Nik is a bachelor this weekend. The main concern in this venture is...starvation.

 

So much to do, so little time...

 

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go forage. Starvation IS a serious concern.

...Can be summed up in two words: trouble, and clever.

 

 

WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS SATIRICAL WRITING. DO NOT TAKE COMMENTS SERIOUSLY. THE EVENTS SPOKEN OF ARE TRUE, BUT THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED ARE NOT SERIOUS, AND SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED AS SUCH.

 

 

 

 

By the time I was 1 and a half, I had figured out how to work the safety and the trigger of a circular saw. Dad was working across the yard, when he hears the familiar scream of a circular saw starting up, this time, not in the able hands of an adult, but in the tiny, pudgey hands of his firstborn son, just learning to crawl, but apparently quite dextrous with his hands. It's been a good 15 or 16 years before Dad has let me even touch power tools again, and even then, I suspect it's not his choice, it's mainly because other people hand them to me and say 'work'. Drills are fine, because drywall can be mudded. Electric saws are still iffy; maybe he's just terrified every time he hears a circular saw start up and he's not the one holding it. Maybe he's afraid I'll show him up with my mad saw skills that I've apparently had since birth. Or maybe the thought of Nik wielding a power tool is just too scary to even consider.

 

And I'm told that, another time, I decided to try chewing on the head of an extension cord. While the other end was plugged into a wall socket. Some might think that this is the reason I'm a little craaazy, but, sorry to ruin your hopes. I got caught before I could try out the new lollipop.

 

I guess you could say that I just have an affinity for power, of all kinds. I'm drawn irresistably to it. *que zombie Nik picture* aaaarrrrrggggg.....powwwwweeeeerrrrrrr......aaaaarrrrrgghhh

 

So yeah. There's your humour tidbit for the week. And now, I'm off to bed, and then it's Crow or bust tommorow. w00t for Senior Reunion!